My first week is over!

Posted in Work by Maggie @ macarons & paperbacks

Ahh. It’s Saturday, and that means that I have no more classes or tutoring sessions to prepare for a while. I can just sit here and read (I haven’t picked up a book/my Kindle since Sunday!) or watch Star Trek: Into Darkness over and over again (I am not ashamed. That movie is amazing). Basically, IT’S THE WEEKEND! And I haven’t looked forward to the weekend like this since my college days.

This week ended quite well, especially considering how stressful it started out. The day after my last post I had an absolutely wonderful morning: I talked to that one boy’s father and he behaved almost perfectly the rest of the week, I felt more confident in my teaching abilities, and I was able to connect more easily with the children after having gotten to know them better. And the BEST part was seeing their improvement along the way! I had one little boy who wouldn’t even say his own name to me, and by Thursday he was playing in our games, saying please & thank you, and even telling me how old he is (all in English, of course)! And the teenager I tutored? He was great the entire week, and I can definitely tell he had fun with the games we played and the conversations we had.

Then this morning I had my first “Very Early Learners” class, where there were two 3 year olds. I will be doing this class for the next four Saturdays, but it’s technically training for me. I was extremely nervous this morning, mainly because the parents stayed with their children and we had to communicate with them in French about our pedagogy, trying to reassure them if the children didn’t start speaking in English right away. Fortunately my “trainer”/co-worker took over that part and she helped me along during the session so I wasn’t completely alone.

So all-in-all I had a decent week. The important thing is that it ended well, and this month I will only be doing the toddler class along with some training to help me during the regular school year. I will also be figuring out which classes/ages I will be teaching and the good thing is that it won’t be everyday. Even though I won’t make as much as I did this week, I will be exponentially less stressed, and that’s what’s more important to me. I want to enjoy my job and have fun with the children. I don’t want to be up to my elbows in preparation materials every single night, cutting out lady bug hats and listening to 5 different hello songs until midnight. Just the fact that I couldn’t even open a book this week speaks volumes: I read every day! So yes, I’m quite looking forward to more of a part-time schedule; my job is, after all, only part-time.

On Friday I was speaking with one of my other newly hired co-workers, and her week was similar to mine, only it didn’t end well. She’s not going to teach any group classes this school year and she seemed very upset in general over her class this past week. Me and another teacher tried to encourage her, though, because there will always be those hard classes where it’s difficult to keep order. I’m so thankful for my “revelations” earlier this week. This class started out as a trial for me, but I stayed optimistic and I really feel that I’ve learned a lot about myself and about teaching. I’m not necessarily looking forward to difficult classes in the future, but I am looking forward to seeing children learn and use their English. That’s always a joyful experience :)

28Aug2013

Work is hard!!

Posted in Work by Maggie @ macarons & paperbacks

Work is hard. Very hard. This time last week I was in a completely different mindset about my new teaching job. But now, halfway through my first week, I have come to develop so much respect for all of the teachers I had growing up. I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize (although they’re probably not even reading this) to any teacher I didn’t listen to, wasn’t nice to, or generally gave a hard time to…I now know just how hard being a teacher can be.

With that said…let me tell you all how the beginning half of my first week has gone!

Monday morning I was all excited when I got to work early. I finished preparing some last-minute details, I reviewed my notes one last time, and I tried to be as friendly and engaging as possible when my little kiddos arrived. Two hours later as I left to grab some lunch before my tutoring session, my back ached, my head was pounding, and all the positive energy I had been accumulating over the last month had completely run out. Spending two hours with ten 3, 4, and 6 year olds is EXHAUSTING. And for me it has also been disheartening and discouraging. Why is that? Well, besides the typical issues such as the children not staying focused or talking too much, there is this one little boy who is determined to push every single one of my buttons. And for any of my fellow teacher-friends, any advice or encouragement you can give me would be enthusiastically welcomed!

This little boy is super intelligent: he knows all the colors and numbers we’ve been learning, he catches on to instructions and games right away, and he generally doesn’t have a problem participating in activities. However, he has a major attitude problem and he finishes or loses interest in activities after 5-10 minutes. And if it didn’t affect or influence the other children, I wouldn’t have been so distressed about it, but when he becomes bored he goes around and messes with the other children or encourages them to goof off as well.

Anyway…last night by the time I got home (which was late…but more on that later) I was physically and emotionally drained and I was barely in the house for 15 minutes before I just broke down completely. I was so looking forward to my new job and after two days I was more exhausted from teaching for 4 hours a day than I was during most of my college exam weeks.

Originally I had planned on writing a post about how great my first day was (clearly I had this idea before starting work on Monday), but I was determined to have something positive to write about (yay for optimism!), and here it is:

During my breakdown last night, I was completely alone because Matt was at a meeting, and I really really needed some comforting so of course I start praying for God to give me any words or Scriptures to help me. Almost immediately I was reminded of James chapter 1, which is my favorite passage in the Bible (how did I forget it about it so easily!?):

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Maybe it’s because my relationship with God was first founded on this passage, but after reading this last night and meditating on it all day, I feel LOADS better (Thank You, God!).

So I have officially made it “over the hump” and I am completely confident (or adamant) that these last two days will end well. And then you can bet that this weekend I will be celebrating! Ok, maybe I’ll just go shopping and read an entire novel while lounging with my dog, but still…you get the idea ;)

23Aug2013

I am employed!

Posted in France by Maggie @ macarons & paperbacks

Hello readers! I have been keeping a “secret” from most of you…at least a secret from the online world. Last month I heard of an organization in France called Les Petits Bilingues, an English school for children of all ages. It’s independent from the normal school system, although it does correspond with the school year and vacation times, and they also provide small group and one-on-one tutoring. The great thing (for me) about this place is that they only hire native English speakers. The awesome thing about this place is that they recently opened a center 5 minutes from our apartment! When I found this out I contacted them right away asking if there were any job openings, and within an hour or two I had revamped and sent over my resumé/CV and got an interview scheduled for that week!

Ok, let me just state that I had never considered teaching as a career option, not even in English or English Lit (my major). Teaching children, especially teenagers, is scary. And I, being a doubter, always ask myself these questions, “What if they ask a question that I don’t know the answer to?” “What if I can’t connect with them?” “What if…” What if, what if, what if. When I applied for this job, all those what if’s starting attacking me, but even though I had no experience in teaching English, I still stayed confident. I relied so much on summer daycare working experience I made in high school (seriously…never imagined having to put “Organized and oversaw snack time” on my resumé), and was incredibly relieved when the directrice asked me to come in a couple of days to shadow the different classes.

And I loved it! The first day I was with a group of about eight 4-6 year olds (my favorite!) and after the class ended I was in such high spirits and filled with the excitement of doing that everyday. The next day I was with a small group of 8-9 year olds, and there wasn’t much for me to do other than observe, but still, it was a good day. And after that, I talked with the directrice again, she drew up a contract for me (yay for French paperwork!), and just like that I got the job!

But because it is currently vacation time, I had a whole month off before starting and my official first day of teaching my own class is THIS coming Monday!!! Ready for the details?

I work Monday-Saturday, 10am-12pm
…with a group of TEN 4 & 6 year olds!
It’s still a vacation week, so I’ll be teaching the same curriculum as the other class I shadowed last month
And after this week my hours will change again: I’ll do some more training before the offical “rentrée” (Back to School time!) at the end of September.

Sounds pretty great, right?? I am slightly nervous, especially after having a semi-nightmare last night that I showed up to work with NOTHING prepared and got scolded by my boss… BUT, God is good, and He blessed me with this job, so I know He’ll continue to help me with it :)

Oh, and my boss also asked if I could do a one-on-one tutoring session with a 15 year old boy (YIKES!) Monday-Friday afternoon this week as well. But I think that’ll go just fine…she told me to focus on things he likes (like sports), and basically just talk about a specific country (like America), and bring some videos, magazines, card games, etc. Not too bad! I’ll have to follow up on this after next week!

21Aug2013

Carte de Séjour & God’s Faithfulness!

Posted in Faith, France by Maggie @ macarons & paperbacks

This is a post about God’s faithfulness. It’s also a post about how stressful living in a foreign country can be, but mostly it’s about how God really shows you when He wants you somewhere.

Most of you reading this probably do not know all about how I came to live in France. Long story short: my husband is French, and when we got engaged we kind of procrastinated on the fiancé visa, therefore we had to come up with other alternatives on how to legally get married. Moving to France a month after our wedding was actually the most practical and flexible way to go, since Matt could work and we would both be able to travel internationally. Fast-forward a year later to this past May: Matt has been approved for his green card and we are finishing up paperwork for that, he has a job he loves, I am much more adapted to living in France and, although I am by no means bilingual, I can now speak and understand a decent amount of French, and we enjoy spending time with our family and friends here. However, in June my visa was due to expire and I discovered two weeks in advance that I should have gone to renew it/apply for my carte de séjour three months before the expiration date! (Aside: a carte de séjour is the equivalent to an American green card) This was because I foolishly expected OFFI, the immigration organization I had been contacted by when I first moved here, to contact me again about it. But no, I now needed to get myself to the Prefecture ASAP, and for you Americans who are unfamiliar with the Prefecture, it is the DMV on steroids (you go there for identification cards and driver’s licenses, because they are not the same here, car-paperwork, green cards, work permits, basically anything related to immigration, and I even think associations have to register at the Prefecture as well). Imagine that your local DMV looks like The New York Stock Exchange on the inside, with people everywhere, numbers being announced on screens and intercoms, babies crying, you get the idea… (I kid, I kid…that’s just a little Dark Knight Rises humor for ya).

Anyway, after I realized the gravity of my situation, I panicked. I have never been one to react calmly in dire situations: I either avoid dealing with it, or I panic. However, over the past 5 or so years God has really been helping me to trust Him instead of panicking, and so, after my initial 10-second breakdown, I immediately had the urge to pray. And for the next three days I prayed HARD. I found all this out on a Monday, and we couldn’t go to the Prefecture until Thursday, so I had three days to either worry myself into developing an ulcer, or to fervently pray, fast, and seek God. And let me just say, for anyone with doubts: never underestimate the power of prayer. The Bible says:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.” – Philippians 4:6-7

By the end of that Monday, I had already begun to feel this supernatural peace over myself and my visa situation. I had confidence in that fact that, no matter what happened, whether I was able to renew my visa or not, that God’s will would be done, and that’s what I prayed for. I could have simply prayed out, “God, PLEASE allow me to get my carte de séjour!” but I wanted more than that. I prayed, “God, if it is YOUR WILL (remember Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane? “Not as I will, but as You will.”), please allow me to get my carte de séjour…” And from that moment on I knew God was there no matter what the outcome.

Before I get back to what happened at the Prefecture on that Black Thursday (Ok, ok, that’s my last Stock Exchange joke), I have to say something about fasting, because I didn’t just pray unceasingly that week, I also fasted. Last semester during one of our Remix meetings (Remix is the student ministry we are involved with here in Grenoble), we discussed fasting. I came to understand that it is not depriving ourselves of things to please God, but it’s an act of expressing to God that we want Him more than anything else. And I just love that image, and so I fasted that week to express to God that, above all else, I wanted His will to be done, even if that meant I would have to go back to the U.S.

And I should tell you the list of things I prayed for before I went (and even during my visit) to the Prefecture:

That I would be able to receive my carte de sejour
That I would have all of the documents I needed
That I would at least be seen by someone (I read that in Paris, you can wait all day and not even be seen before closing time)
That the employees would be friendly, helpful, and compassionate (people with prior experience at the Prefecture or even the DMV, feel free to laugh)
That I would not have to pay any extra fees for being late
That Matt would be able to return to work in the afternoon (he only took half a day off, and he still had things to get done for a meeting the following day)
That my sister-in-law would be able to find someone to watch my niece for me while I was still waiting (I babysit her two afternoons a week, while her parents are at work)
That we would not get a parking ticket (because our meter expired ~20 minutes before we left)

So we arrived at the Prefecture at 9:15am, just fifteen minutes after opening time, and we were already #44 in line. I brought a book to keep me entertained during the wait, but all I could really do was look around and continue to pray for everything to go smoothly. Finally, after 5 long hours, we were seen, and let me spoil everything for you readers by saying that EVERYTHING ON MY PRAYER LIST WAS ANSWERED. EVERYTHING.

The agent who met with us was very friendly (what!?), and even compassionate because–and here’s the most amazing part of the story–although we were missing a couple of proofs of residency, she let us mail them to her after our visit. When does something like that ever happen? When can you go to the DMV, not having adequate proof of residency, and STILL get your driver’s license? I did not have to pay any extra fees, I was not declared to be a “situation irrégulière” (which could cause problems if/when I want to become a dual citizen)…I was given my récépissé (basically a temporary card that lasts for 3 months) and told I might have to come back and get it renewed if my actual carte de sejour does not arrive in time.

And on top of all that amazing news, my sister-in-law was able to find someone to cover babysitting for me (because if not, I guess she would have had to miss work or we would have had to leave the Prefecture early?), Matt did get to work later than he wished, but it turns out he didn’t have much to do after all, AND, although our parking meter had expired nearly half an hour before we left the Prefecture, there was no ticket (although there was an ad for a florist stuck in the wipers that nearly gave me a heart attack).

This all happened at the end of May, and yesterday I went back to renew my récépissé and it turns out that my actual card was ready and I only had to wait 45 minutes to pick it up and pay the 106€ fee (which is still cheaper than the American green card fees we’re paying for Matt)!

Finally! I no longer have to carry my passport around! AND, it’s much smaller than a regular French ID card as well! Much more practical.

And what did I learn from all of this? That God is faithful. That He provides. That if He wants you to be somewhere (like France), He will make it happen (by bestowing upon you more than enough grace). That there is NO prayer request too little, too insignificant, too impossible that He will not hear. That prayer and fasting are powerful, and they deepen our relationship with God. That the French system is not as scary and unforgiving as the internet will have you believe. And lastly, I finally realized that God wants us here in France, and although we were planning on being back in the States by Christmastime, I think we’ll be holding off on that for a little while :)

So there you have it. I know this was long, but I hope it was entertaining and inspiring enough. And for anyone who is in the process of getting their own carte de séjour, please feel free to ask me any questions about my experience, or even for my advice (but definitely do things a lot sooner than I did!).

20Aug2013

“Austen in August” and Mansfield Park Part 1

Posted in Austen in August, Novels, The Classics Club by Maggie @ macarons & paperbacks

I am currently partaking in an online Jane Austen festival of sorts called “Austen in August” One of the main events is a Read-Along and group discussion of Mansfield Park. The “Austen in August” page featured on my blog will store each of my blog posts related to the event and read-along. Feel free to post your own comments or even to read along with us!

Mansfield Park Discussion Questions (Chapters 1-18)

Quick getting to know you Qs:

Was Mansfield Park the first Austen book you read? No
Is this the first time you’ve read Mansfield Park? Yep
How many other Austen books have you read? I have read, in order, Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, and Persuasion
Will you read more of them/reread them? I am currently on a Jane Austen spree, so I am in the process of reading/re-reading all of them. Northanger Abbey is up next after I finish MP.
Do you or will you read Austen adaptations? I have not read any adaptations, although I have watched several, but I am totally open to reading some!

Responses to Mansfield Park:

What were your initial impressions of the story? Not just the characters and their respective situations, but also the style and tone – if you’ve read Austen before, do you find Mansfield Park to be very different in any significant ways? Of the three other Austen novels I have read (Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, and Persuasion), I do notice some differences between them and MP, especially concerning the length of the plot summaries and dialogues. The discussions about the clergy between Edmund and Mary Crawford frankly bored me, and I do prefer the shorter and more concise dialogue Austen uses in her other novels.
Going more into the characters now, Mansfield Park‘s inhabitants are pretty universally considered Austen’s hardest to love. What was your response to them through the first half of this story? Do you feel for any of them? Hate any of them with a vehemence beyond that which you normally reserve for fictional characters? And if you try to look at them objectively, do you have any more sympathy (or disgust) with their actions and behavior? I have never read MP before and up until a little over a week ago the most I knew about it was from watching The Jane Austen Book Club. Since I decided to participate in this read-along, however, I’ve discovered how disliked both MP and Fanny Price are, and while I can understand the reasons for that, I do have to disagree (see next question). Yes, the secondary characters are obnoxiously childish and selfish, but after reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, no character, and I mean NONE, can annoy, anger, or frustrate me more than Dolores Umbridge. And even Lydia Bennet is more ridiculous than Maria and Julia, although perhaps not as mean-spirited as Mrs. Norris.
Fanny is often considered to be a very milquetoast, frustratingly passive heroine. Do you agree with this perception of her? Do you find yourself making excuses for her or holding things against her? Or do you feel that Fanny is underestimated as a character? Consider the scene in the Rushworth’s park, as Fanny sits for hours, waiting to be noticed again, while everyone around her seeks their own amusement. Maybe it’s because everyone else in the (real) world seems to dislike Fanny, or maybe it’s because I can relate to her/liken myself to her (gosh, I hope not TOO much!), but I really do sympathize with Fanny and even like her the best out of all the other characters. Although, is that really hard to do? I feel that she is a tiny bit misunderstood: she isn’t able to always make her own decisions, but, due to her personality and the constant belittlement from her extended family, she feels she has to please everyone even when her own will suffers.
“The Play” and preparation for it is one of the most telling and pivotal scenes in Mansfield Park – discuss your reaction to the entire Lover’s Vows storyline: what it brings to light in the characters, what changes and ruptures it causes among them, things that amused or irritated you, etc. Did your feelings about any of the characters change as a result of The Play? How did you feel about Fanny during this whole incident? Would you have liked to see the play – and its aftermath – without the intrusion of the returning Lord Bertram? I found myself reacting in similar ways as Fanny during the play rehearsals: amusing myself in the selfishness and ridiculousness of all the characters involved. Between Julia and Maria not-so-subtly fighting over the affections of Henry Crawford, or Mr. Rushmore’s obsession with his stage time, I believe the rehearsal and preparation for the play is more entertaining than the actual play would have been. Although, right now (I stopped at the end of chapter 18) I find myself worried over Lord Bertram’s reaction, not for the other characters, but mainly for Fanny since she had finally and unwittingly given in to reading lines.
Many of the relationships we’ve been introduced to so far are very contentious: Maria and Julia, sometimes Tom and Edmund, Mrs Norris and everybody. And in fact, the story starts with a rift in the family. What do you make of the “friendships” and family dynamics in the story, and of the changes wrought by the entrance of the Crawfords? Everyone is selfish, even Edmund and Fanny at times (not wanting to help out with the play–was her motive due to embarassment or values?). At one point Mary and Mrs. Grant are discussing Henry’s relationship with Maria, and instead of being concerned for Maria’s reputation and engagement (they don’t have the slightest problem reprimanding her behind her back, however), they are entirely concerned about Henry’s happiness. This upset me since they both know Henry to be a flirt, and instead of reprimanding his actions they try and spare his feelings or possible broken heart.
Is there anything else you’d like to talk about from Volume One? Here’s an example of why I sympathize with Fanny: How would any girl feel about having to play audience while her crush and competition confess love for one another, even if it is just rehearsal for a play? We all know that this play is more than just an act…

5Aug2013

Greater Things Are Yet To Come: Connect 2013

Posted in Faith, Travel by Maggie @ macarons & paperbacks

Last month, Matt and I were blessed to be able to attend an annual SfC (Students for Christ) conference in Germany called Connect. Before I write anything else, let me just say that our lives were changed. I have been to two other types of conferences before (Clarity and SALT) and neither one had that much impact on my life. The conference is aptly named Connect because that’s all I did: I connected with God and I connected with people.

On our way to Germany!

Let me start with how I connected with people. Now normally I am rather introverted around new people, especially in large group gatherings when I don’t have any close friends nearby. Before we even packed for Connect, though, I had started praying for God to help me really meet and get to know people. I did not want to spend any time hiding out in my room or only staying around the group I came with, and God radically answered my prayers because at every meal, in every workshop and meeting, and in-between every service, I sat with, talked with, played sports with, and generally spent time with people I had never met before arriving in Germany. And it was INCREDIBLE. I made some sincere relationships with missionaries and students from all across Europe and I am already looking forward to meeting up with them again next summer!

A FEW of us getting excited about playing Ultimate Frisbee (there were at least 20 other people playing with us as well)!

Connecting with God was obviously something I was expecting to experience, yet I was surprised at how HE continued to connect with ME after leaving the conference (I’m still amazed at how surprising God can be–He’s ALWAYS doing the unexpected in my life). The biggest “take home” I got from Connect was the desire to be a prayer warrior. This wasn’t even a desire I realized had been developing in my heart until after I was almost home, yet when I think back on all the different services, I see a common theme of prayer emerging.

The last morning worship was led by the children’s ministry!

One speaker really touched my heart as he shared his passion for ministering to peoples in Afghanistan, and how it is essential for a ministry to have a prayer network. Before listening to him speak, I knew nothing about Afghanistan, besides the media-induced stereotypes that had influenced me to dislike it. Now, I know in what areas to be praying for Afghanistan, its peoples, and it’s missionaries…but more than that, I now have a desire to pray for those things.

Prayer for the Nations

One night was spent praying for the nations, and I experienced something I still don’t understand. There were flags from every country represented at the conference spread across the meeting room floor: flags from Europe, Asia, Africa, the Americas. We were encouraged to first pray for the countries we were currently living in, and so I began praying for France but all along I had this desire to go pray for the U.S. When I finally walked over to my country’s flag, I was overcome with intense emotion and I began weeping before I could even sit down. I still don’t understand why, but I experienced the same emotions with a few other countries as well.

Me–before the prayer time–posing with the American flag.

On the last day we broke off into our individual countries and talked about our personal experiences with God and with others during the conference, and then we discussed our plans for the coming school year. One thing I was really excited about is a potential SfC France retreat, when the different SfC groups across France will get together–we have groups in Paris, Grenoble, Toulouse, and Marseille.

The French teams–with a few absent.

Silly pose!

Overall I am extremely grateful to have attended Connect. It was incredibly hard for me to say goodbye to all the friends we had made during our week and a half there, but as I said before, God has continued to speak to me about my trip. He has influenced me to pray fervently for all the students and missionaries I connected with, and I have decided to make a prayer map to encourage me to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).