Work is hard. Very hard. This time last week I was in a completely different mindset about my new teaching job. But now, halfway through my first week, I have come to develop so much respect for all of the teachers I had growing up. I would like to take a moment to publicly apologize (although they’re probably not even reading this) to any teacher I didn’t listen to, wasn’t nice to, or generally gave a hard time to…I now know just how hard being a teacher can be.
With that said…let me tell you all how the beginning half of my first week has gone!
Monday morning I was all excited when I got to work early. I finished preparing some last-minute details, I reviewed my notes one last time, and I tried to be as friendly and engaging as possible when my little kiddos arrived. Two hours later as I left to grab some lunch before my tutoring session, my back ached, my head was pounding, and all the positive energy I had been accumulating over the last month had completely run out. Spending two hours with ten 3, 4, and 6 year olds is EXHAUSTING. And for me it has also been disheartening and discouraging. Why is that? Well, besides the typical issues such as the children not staying focused or talking too much, there is this one little boy who is determined to push every single one of my buttons. And for any of my fellow teacher-friends, any advice or encouragement you can give me would be enthusiastically welcomed!
This little boy is super intelligent: he knows all the colors and numbers we’ve been learning, he catches on to instructions and games right away, and he generally doesn’t have a problem participating in activities. However, he has a major attitude problem and he finishes or loses interest in activities after 5-10 minutes. And if it didn’t affect or influence the other children, I wouldn’t have been so distressed about it, but when he becomes bored he goes around and messes with the other children or encourages them to goof off as well.
Anyway…last night by the time I got home (which was late…but more on that later) I was physically and emotionally drained and I was barely in the house for 15 minutes before I just broke down completely. I was so looking forward to my new job and after two days I was more exhausted from teaching for 4 hours a day than I was during most of my college exam weeks.
Originally I had planned on writing a post about how great my first day was (clearly I had this idea before starting work on Monday), but I was determined to have something positive to write about (yay for optimism!), and here it is:
During my breakdown last night, I was completely alone because Matt was at a meeting, and I really really needed some comforting so of course I start praying for God to give me any words or Scriptures to help me. Almost immediately I was reminded of James chapter 1, which is my favorite passage in the Bible (how did I forget it about it so easily!?):
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Maybe it’s because my relationship with God was first founded on this passage, but after reading this last night and meditating on it all day, I feel LOADS better (Thank You, God!).
So I have officially made it “over the hump” and I am completely confident (or adamant) that these last two days will end well. And then you can bet that this weekend I will be celebrating! Ok, maybe I’ll just go shopping and read an entire novel while lounging with my dog, but still…you get the idea ;)